14 Things You Know If You Do Slimming World
Slimming World is like one big family, we’re all on the same journey and we’re all working off the same set of rules. With this sense of community come some hilarious, and some serious, similarities that we’re all aware of on the plan…I’ve rounded up a few of my favourites!
THAT…IT GETS WINDY
I’m sorry, I know this isn’t a classy place to start but it’s unavoidable so I thought I’d get it out of the way first. I’m not a scientist so I can’t say why, but Slimming World makes you fart, although I’ve heard that farting burns calories so maybe that’s a good thing! Farting has become a very important part of my life on Slimming World, I suffer from IBS anyway, so it’s fair to say that my nearest and dearest have had to make some adjustments…
THAT…WALKING INTO GROUP IS TERRIFYING
Anyone who’s not doing Slimming World from home knows the fear of walking into group, and to be honest many people do it from home for that exact reason. You’re alone, you’re probably feeling pretty crappy about yourself (after all you’ve got to the point where you need to shift some LLBs) and it’s a room full of mostly women. Not to gender stereotype here but we’ve got a reputation of being rather bitchy and Slimming World has a disproportionate number of women to men. Within about five seconds anyone who makes the commitment and walks through the doors knows that all of these fears are totally unjustified because Image Therapy is AWESOME and so are our fellow slimmers. We’ve all made that journey through the doors, and we’re all there for the same reason!
THAT…QUARK IS KING
If you see someone else in the supermarket with six tubs of fat free quark piled up high and you look down at your own basket and realise you’ve also got six tubs of fat free quark piled up, then you can be pretty sure you’re both on Slimming World. Lord knows I’d never heard of it before but nowadays I use quark in pretty much everything it seems, which is odd as it tastes frigging rank on its own! Pop it in a sauce, or mix it into cheesecake however and it’s like the magic ingredient you never knew you needed! I’m also a big fan of quark based products (I’m thinking Arla Protein here!) which I’d never even considered before joining Slimming World. Whichever way you look at it, on the plan Quark = King!
My Syn Free No Bake Berry Cheesecake…and yes, it’s made with Quark…and yes it’s frigging delicious!
THAT…IT’S STILL TOTALLY COOL TO DRINK A GLASS OF WINE
Or that a beer, shot of vodka, measure of whisky…whatever your tipple of choice you nailed down how many syns within the first five minutes of being on plan. Literally the first thing I did when I downloaded the app was look up how many syns in a glass of white wine and I’m not even a little bit ashamed. It only gets slightly awkward when someone floats the question at group about how many syns there are in a bottle and you answer before they’ve even finished asking…
THAT…PRE-WEIGH IN POOS ARE NOT GROSS
Again, not a classy subject so you’re going to have to excuse me…but if you’ve never sat on the loo willing yourself to ‘go number two’ before weigh in then you’re a better gal than I am! I don’t care what anyone says about how it all works out in the end if you do the same thing every week, I’m convinced I drop an extra half pound if my time in the WC is effective!!! It’s not gross, it’s just part of being part of the Slimming World crew.
THAT… ANYONE WHO WEIGHS IN JEANS IS MENTAL
I’m sorry if this is you, but if you weigh in jeans you’ve got to be a crazy person. Jeans add at least two pounds! I know if you weigh in them every week it doesn’t make a difference but personally I’d weigh in a g-string and a set of nipple tassels if it wouldn’t offend public decency! Also, what happens in the summer on the one day that it’s 40 degrees outside and you’re sweating buckets in your weigh in jeans so as not to get an unrepresentative number on the scales?!? Gym leggings and a strappy top all the way if you ask me…
THAT…SLIMMING WORLD CONSULTANTS ARE REAL LIFE FAIRY GODMOTHERS
Call me Cinderella but I’ve always wanted a fairy god mother! My real god mothers are pretty awesome, but how cool would it be to have a magical woman who could conjure you up a brand new party frock if yours was looking a bit last season? I might be waiting a while for that, but Slimming World consultants are the next best thing (in my experience anyway). They’re kind, supportive and will give you a proper kick up the butt if they find out you accidentally ate half a chocolate cake at your great-aunts birthday party on Saturday…
THAT…SOMETIMES THE SCALES ARE REALLY F**KING UNFAIR
Excuse my language but sometimes you just want to say a big F you to the scales! Times like when you’ve tried mega hard, stuck to plan all week, drunk enough water to drown a fish, forgone booze and chocolate AND even had your pre-weigh in poo but you’ve bloody maintained…what the hell is that about?!?!? Sometimes our bodies are often just stubborn twats who don’t understand how hard we had to work to resist the cake table at work, I get that, but it doesn’t stop me wanting to launch the scales through the window!
THAT…WEIGHT LOSS CAN BE FUN
I’ve never been on a diet before where I’ve been able to have so much fun! I love my Slimming World group, we have a proper laugh, and what’s more the cooking can still be fun. You’re not making endless salads, you can still bake and experiment and you don’t have to cut anything out! You can still drink, go out with friends, eat in restaurants and you don’t have to stop when you run out of ‘points’ (not looking at any other diet in particular here obviously!) because you can gorge yourself on free food when you get peckish! I’ve never had so much fun getting slim…and it’s certainly more fun than getting fat was in the first place!
THAT…FRESH FRUIT CAN BE BLOODY EXPENSIVE
I can’t be the only person that has to do a double take when I see a packet of about three raspberries being sold for £2! Fruit is so expensive which is so counterproductive. We’re constantly told that we need to eat more fruit, so why is it so bleeding pricey!?! We trudge on and buy it anyway because we need our speed but we do it grudgingly! Who knows…maybe it’s a good thing because it means we can’t afford to buy cake…
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKI-9c9BfGm/?tagged=tescofruit
THAT…THERE’S NO SHAME IN A GAIN
Honestly there’s not, and anyone who’s been doing Slimming World for long enough can tell you this. The beauty of the plan and of the way that Slimming World is structured is that there is absolutely no blame, shaming or finger pointing at people who gain or maintain on the scales. As upset or frustrated as that person might be there’s nothing but support and advice from other Slimming World-ers, whether that be at group or on the huge number of Slimming World support groups on social media. The message is always to just pick yourself up and get back on track the second you get off the scales. That might be easier said than done, but the support is always there!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKRH5BFhiTw/?taken-by=basementbakehouse_sw
THAT…PRETENDING THAT SOMETHING HAS SYNS DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE
Honestly, can we just decide that pizza is ‘free’? Please?..No? Fine. But don’t say I didn’t ask! Everyone on Slimming World has had to come to the realisation at some point that just because they decide that there are only 8 syns in an entire share bag of Malteasers doesn’t make it true (it’s like 35 just FYI…trust me).
THAT…NON SCALES VICTORIES RULE
Anyone doing Slimming World knows the pure buzz of joy of a good NSV! There’s nothing better than being able to pick out the next size clothes, or trying on something and realising it’s two sizes too big! The complements and comments from people around you about how much your face has slimmed, or the feeling of your rings getting looser, are all amazing indications that your hard work is paying off and life is good. Sometimes the number on the scales goes down slower than we might like but there are other ways to measure our success and they’re just as wonderful!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BI3Eg4NDPnv/?taken-by=basementbakehouse_sw
THAT…NO MATTER WHAT WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE SLIMMING WORLD
Whether you’ve been doing it for years and maintained your target beautifully, or put it all back on again, the one constant will always be that Slimming World will be there to keep you in control. Getting back on plan after some time off might be tough, but anyone who’s done it knows that it never stops being a fantastic plan. We love it, and we love what it does for us. We’re all on the same journey and we’re all in it together!
